The soul breathes as energy, completely absorbed, held still as stone – then squeezed like a sponge painting the world juicy.

Like the growth of muscle, the soul too must fail in order to exhale. Without perspiring fully the soul cannot respire ever greater magic.

A God-fearing man is not superstitious, rather, fearless in the face of failure, shame or loss since his limits are not defined by the past.

There is an “I” that creates, holding the cosmos in his heart; and, there is an “I” who receives creation. Thus, I and my Father are one.

Like waves at high tide, spiritual healing occurs with cycles of profound penetration and withdrawing, calling forth wholeness from within.

That which is of the Father provides for the future by planting the seeds of today. The first sojourn step contains all that is to come.

On March 8th I had a vivid dream, which together with the events of the day have left me quite unsettled – enough so that I couldn’t write about it until now.

The dream:

I was at a party in the covered outdoor patio of a white house. Vine plants clung to trellises, yet they seemed withered/near dead, so I guessed that I was in a warmer climate but it was still either mid-winter or early spring.

Then a man steps into view and I’m blown away enough not to care about what kind of plants are growing. It was Tim Duncan, followed by Kobe Bryant – my two favorite NBA heroes. There was another NBA player more in the background behind them, mingling in the distance of the party. All I could see about this player was that he was white and I had never ever seen or heard of him before – but he looked tall as hell so I was sure he was NBA material.

A party where NBA players are mingling with everyone? Tim and Kobe say they are going to another party after this and ask if I’d like to come. “Of course!”

The scene changes. I’m in a desert now, with a large cliff-face north of me and open expanse of nothing save the bright sun south of me. It is late afternoon, because a large shadow is being cast by the western-most side of this cliff-face. Tim, Kobe and the tall white guy lead me and a group of 30 or so people inside a structure.

A door opens up into the mountain and inside is a huge warehouse. We are all so star-struck that we hardly notice our surroundings. I was noticing, though, and this made my hosts more and more agitated. The big white NBA player suddenly pulls out a gun and starts shooting in my direction. I run for the door, feeling in my pockets for a weapon.

A handgun is there, but I can’t run, find it, and shoot at the same time. (very important dillemma).

I manage to clear the front doors without getting hit, and see a car parked about 100 yards away. “Cover. Just give me cover and I can arm myself enough to fight back.” Running, scrambling, scratching for another yard, another foot, another inch. The bullets have seared my flesh and a thud hits the ground 20 yards from my target. It is over. Everyone leaves. Was I brought here under false pretenses? I’m very confused.

I look down and my body is below me. I am “standing” at its head, for how long I have no idea, and feel very confused. Why am I laying down? I can’t be dead. I am dreaming, but I feel like a spirit now. I can see my body below me. What is going on?

Then from a far distance, a man approaches on foot. He ignores my body and looks “me” in the eye:

“You are dead now,” he says, his voice resonant, wise, gentle. “Trust the inner journey. Let your soul fly.”

At that moment, my soul is completely released from the earth and I soar beyond the atmosphere into space, then back again, making white arch-like trails behind me. Finally I dip above the atmosphere to space again, never to return, and I wake up.

Real life:

It is time for a day of community gathering, here at Sunrise Ranch we have 4 a year. I arrive a moment too late, walking into a ceremonial environment. A chant is being sung and people are approaching the area where the singers are one at a time in a gesture that seems to represent “Opening to their sovereign within.”

After the first half, at the start of mid-morning break, we get word that our friend and neighbor who was not in attendance, Jack Caputo, had a heart attack and was being rushed to the hospital. By the end of the 20minute break word came back that he was gone, passed away in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. This symbol of dying on the way to refuge, unable to run, get what’s needed and fight back, I believe, was my way of “being” with Jack in his departure from earth.

Jack Caputo was a great friend and mentor to me. He was my doctor and he was an elder both in this community and in the mankind project.

My heart sings to Jack from the depths of dream time, the kind that persists into waking moments: “Trust the inner journey. Let your soul fly.”

Anything that is real is found in relationship.

If it has not,

If it builds not,

The power to connect,

Neither my life,

Nor those around,

Have any meaning.

Learn to say yes,

Think yes, in anticipation,

Of the question yet unasked.

Living to fulfill the prayer of others

Do I cease to exist?

With such availability,

To what is said “No?”

A yes to my brother,

Is a yes to my prayer,

And a NO,

To the illusion

Of Separation.

(Note to new readers:  This heartfelt expression is dedicated in the form of devotional prayer, the lower part of myself expressing towards the highest Self, the Divine One, and is offered in the prayer that it may touch and inspire connection with the Divine within you.  The original recording can be heard by clicking the link below.  Newsletter subscribers may hear the audio online by clicking on the title of this post.)

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Heavenly Father, your presence in the midst of the lamb fills me with so much joy.  My heart is opening again.  My ability to love, to trust myself, and to trust people in the positions of leadership around me are being restored in this moment.

Heavenly Father,  I am deeply meditating upon the insight that following a virtue is in many ways like being an artist and appreciating art.

When I was a teenager, I would spend my time on the weekend helping my Dad at his folk-dancing club as cash registrar, and I would pass the time by doing colored pencils drawings of usually of dolphins in ocean scenes or outer-space scenes.  People would often comment, “Oh, you’re such a good artist.”  At first, I was just gracious and said “thank you,” but as this pattern continued over and over I started thinking more about what this means that people were praising me for being an artist.  And finally my reply came as “Everyone’s an artist.  Everyone is beautiful in something that they do.”

On one of my drawings I put the words inspiring me at that moment, which were, “Look beyond to see that we are nothing.”  Look beyond to see that we are nothing.  This was poetry on my part, and yet they are words that, in the spirit of the song “Dust in the Wind,” convey something of our eternal nature when we let go of forms.

When I would write things like this people would often say “What does that mean?”  And my reply was:  “Whatever it means to you, is what it means,” even though I had my own idea.  Similarly with things like the Rorschach ink blot test, every person sees something in the pattern of their own mind in response to their world, and in many ways it’s similar to the appreciation of and the creation of ART.  And I’m seeing this in the realm of virtue also now.

Recently in the Sunrise Ranch Community, Emissaries of Divine Light Ministry, there is a leadership program and in this program there’s a huge emphasis on Eldership, learning how to be a leader.  There is tremendous pressure to be a person who can accept bottom-line responsibility for our world.  This is huge, and yet, what does it mean?  It is being pushed so heavily and directly by the leaders of this program and it is opening this place up in me, Father, this place of trust of myself and of my leader.  Yet, what does it mean?  How do I apply it?

There are some direct steps that I can take in this moment, and yet, no specific guidance is given.  How do I apply this?  It is an art.

The art of application of virtue, is a matter of perception, action, perception, action.  And yet the realm of applying virtue in daily life cannot be achieved without trust.  We have to trust ourselves, and we have to trust the people in positions of leadership.

There is a way to see strong leadership as a gift of energy.  No matter whether we agree with leadership or not, no matter how angry it makes us, no matter how unclear it is – there is a way to perceive it as energy.  There was one time in a leadership session where I was rebuked for doing something creative, and afterwards we were presented with a teaching from Uranda regarding “Faith in People.”  That theme really applies to this faith in leadership and earning the faith of others.

After hearing this teaching, Father, I cried and cried in repentance to thee – around my attitudes towards people and made the promise to you that I would never use the extended capacities of my potential to ever put someone else down or make them feel “less than.”  And now, here I am on the opposite end of that promise, being presented with the opportunity to take bottom-line responsibility for my world and thus earn the faith of others.  Earn their trust, earn their respect, but none of it is possible without trust:  trust in myself and trust in those in a role of leadership.  Those roles of leadership I have accepted into my life for very specific reasons.  If I have accepted a person of leadership into my life and not trusting them, I am wasting my time.

One of my classmates who had seen the genuine flow of tears and sincere repentance following this teaching thought that I was crying because of the rebuke of the director of the program.  My reply to her was:  “Does a leaf cry when the wind blows?”    It is such a great thought.  It is such a great image for not taking things personally.  It is such a great image for receiving fully the energy of leadership and being nurtured by it.

Yet when it is time to take bottom-line responsibility for our world, the verb “to take” is very appropriate, because no one is going to give it to you, no one can give you responsibility unless you take it.  And whether someone gives it to you or not, it is yours to take.

In the book by Robert Bly, the story of Iron John, one of the key parts of that story is that the little boy who has been interacting with Iron John, his true power, his true sovereignty as a divine being – he has been interacting with him but yet Iron John has been in a cage.  That cage has been imposed by his parents, by civilization, to keep order and the little boy wants his ball back, he wants his joy, he wants his love, he wants his life back.  He may be a grownup little boy now, without any joy and Iron John, his true self, is in the cage, powerful, covered in hair.

Iron John says he will give the boy his ball if only he sets him free.  The key that he needs is under his mother’s pillow, but he can’t ask them for it – he has to steal it.  This is a necessary part of his becoming his true self and accepting his true power, to steal something out from underneath his mother’s pillow.  His mother represents all the nice things about him, and there comes a time in one’s development of leadership where being nice just doesn’t work anymore.

We need to take bottom-line responsibility because it is ours to take.  Those parts of ourselves that are nice can couch them for a while, but the joy in our life is gone unless we have the capacity to embrace all of ourselves.

We are very lucky to live in this physical world where communication can flow between people of very different consciousness, but in the invisible world, the realm of vibration that is not the case.  When we no longer have this body as a tool, communicating with unlike minds is impossible just as different channels of a radio station are independent of each other.

Heavenly Father, I am very grateful for this physical body and for this world, that I may learn from enlightened thinkers who have left behind stories such as Iron John, who have left behind these clues to our development before departing into higher realms of enlightenment and wisdom.  I am very thankful, Father, for these stories and for the wisdom of the saints and sages of the world, that they have left behind clues to their own development and thus nurturing the spiritual evolution of humanity before departing into their higher consciousness, into those places that I cannot reach.  I am thankful for their stories, Father, I am thankful for Iron John and how that story has affected the men’s movement in the world.

Heavenly Father, in thy spirit I am moved.  I am moved in trust of thee.  I am so moved in trust of myself.  I am so moved in trust of the leadership which I have accepted into my life, just as a leaf is moved by the wind.  It is so joyful to receive energy in the form of guidance from those who I trust, and may it be so that I may take bottom-line responsibility and that I may have the same joy in applying the winds of spirit to reform this world.

The mind independent, unrooted in spirit for its functioning, is like a boat drifting at sea without a sail.

That which is unforgettable only exists because it has touched the level of the soul.

The soul is not that which needs saving, the soul is that which saves!

The whirling voices of duality never cease, until they rest in their true home of spirit.

That which serves silent efficiency, truth, goodness & beauty also serves the soul – for it stirs the giant from slumber to remembrance.

The greatest souls are those least identifiable, lost in the depth & breadth of radiant service to their fields.

Let your soul speak, let it serve, let it create, let it guide.

Let it land fully in your feet, heart, hands & crown shining golden round about.

There are muscle tissues in the body, which generally do not get used with external exertion, and also which are closely associated with the soul-body connection.  These muscles are important to stimulate and keep engaged, from the inside out, since they are so critical to the sovereign spiritual function over form and to the way one relates in the world.

From top to bottom, here is my list so far:

Behind the ears: pull the ears back towards each other.  This will raise the hairline a millimeter or so and open the crown of light to radiate into the world.

The face: how difficult is it to smile?  Perhaps one isn’t exercising those muscles enough?  The reason one smiles so easily after a dentist appointment is not so much due to their scraping instruments, but due to the effort it takes to keep the mouth open and yet relaxed.  Take a few moments whenever you are alone to open your mouth as wide as possible and pull those smiling muscles way back to their fullest, then relax, resting in warmth, grace and peace.  Try the same thing with your mouth closed.  Pull the edges of your smile as far east and west as they will go!!!  Use your fingers to assist and get a good stretch on the tissues of the lips.  Relax and see how much more easily the smiling muscles can engage without all that tension.

The tongue:  The tongue is exciting sexually not only for its physical features, but also for its energetic role as an important conduit of energy. Contact with the roof of the mouth (and even higher places if you can imagine the tongue acrobatics of that feat) provides integration at higher levels.

The top of the neck: Focus your energy in your neck.  Slowly add tension until your head starts to vibrate at the juncture of the cervical spine and the base of the cranium, then slowly turn down the tension, but don’t relax completely.  Go back and forth between vibrating with tension and the point where the physical shaking has become still until you reach a place where the neck is charged with energy, yet supple and able to move in any direction without hindrance.  This will auto-stimulate the ears and face again and slow the breath to a peaceful, ocean-like lull.

Lats: Almost everyone in the world wears their shoulders too high and usually one higher then the other.  My left shoulder is the one that is higher so I start there.  Using your lats, pull your higher shoulder down to the floor as far as it will go tilting the rest of the torso diagonally.  Flex the lat as tight as it can until is coalesces into a tight mass and hold, then engage the lat on the other side, pulling the other shoulder down to meet it.   Keep the lats engaged throughout the day until they are strong enough to unconsciously hold your shoulders down where they need to be – out of the way of the neck.  Notice that the sides of the neck have tightened to accommodate high shoulders and will need to be stretched.

Back of the heart: Raise the arms over your head, then pinch your shoulder blades back together as though the back of your shoulders wanted to touch each other and slowly lower your arms with your hands always staying behind the head.  When you’ve reached the bottom of how far down your arms can go in this position.  Raise and lower your elbows, always keeping your hands approximately 3-5″ behind your head without touching it.  Feel the burn in the muscles that pull the shoulders back together until fatigued, then relax them by engaging the lats again as described above, relaxing the arms down.   Now go back and forth between relaxing, engaging the lats, then engaging the back of the heart, doing so each time with less and less energy, until you can keep them activated and engaged with soul-energy no matter what kind of motion your torso is doing.

Front of the heart: There is a muscle in your chest that can tilt the top of the sternum inward towards the body.  This activates the endocrine center here that rules the heart chakra, the thymus.  Pull the top of the sternum inward, and together with the lats and the back of the heart, feel your vibrational “wings” extend to the sides and behind.  Open your heart in front of you, expanding large enough to encompass at least this planet if not more.

Navel/Solar Plexus: Engage your abdomen first by pulling in the navel just below the belly button.  There is a tiny muscle here that will pull it in only a millimeter or so.  Tense, hold and relax this muscle until you are very familiar with it, then add the rest of the abdomen until the bottom of the ribs are pulled downward to their cupped, resting position.  Relax and repeat until these muscles are not stiff but rather charged with soul-energy in any position.

Sacrum-Spinal Fluid: If you’ve never been to a network chiropractor, it may be a bit difficult to understand the nature of this spinal muscle phenomenon.  The doctors call these “psycho-somatic waves,” and they can be induced in infants as well as animals.  They are undulations of the spine that occur quite naturally and easily in a healthy body.  They originate in the back of the navel (base of the spine) when the sacrum is activated.  The sacrum represents a tremendous storehouse of energy that is the energetic source of all sexuality and spiritual awakening.  Activate the sacrum.  I can’t tell you how exactly.  The network chiropractors do it by giving the bottom of the sacrum (tip of the tailbone) a scratch-like stroke upward towards the head.  Try this in the shower when soaping up and see how the spine can react sometimes by undulating spontaneously.  This undulation, in my experience, is a dolphin-like “swimming” in consciousness, lifting the seat of the soul upward to the higher centers of the heart, through the neck and out the crown.  Swim home, my fair one, and learn to use the spine for its true purpose.

Floor of the pelvis (anus, et al): When I was in junior high school a public health group aimed at reducing incontinence among the future elderly of the world came into our science class and taught the 13-year-olds how to do Kiegel exercises, that is, the flexing of the anus.  Soon after learning  and working with this exercise, I found that if I timed my breathing to it, I could spontaneously induce “chills” all over my body which were very soothing and peaceful.  There are other very subtle muscles in this area as well which are very important, one of which is a muscle that governs the position of the testicles.  You can consciously pull the gonads in closer to the body in various intervals to access ranges of energy contained therein.

After going completely through the “inner” body, try and keep all of these engaged throughout the day!!!!

Live with celebration and a state of awe, not just for what is happening, but for who is present,

Let the ears be open, a vacuum for divine sustenance that can nourish you to the core.

Everything a person does & says is to fulfill their own, personal, deep needs,

Every word from the mouth of the father nourishes His children when their ears are open.

Keep your ears open!!!  They can be used for so much more than you ever imagined.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil – for that which enters into the heart is given directly to the soul,

Silence drinks, silence speaks, silence guides & is fully alive for those who bring balance to the world.