I am blessed as I reflect back on the long line of amazing mentors that have appeared in my life.  Mr. Kamiya, My neighbor Gail, My football coach Mike.  Mr. Hailu. Melody.  Uncle Mark.  Mr. Mackay. Joda Doshi.  Ingrid.  Grace.  Shocho Viviano. Soma.  Thomas.  David.  I extend my heartfelt gratitude to you all, as well as to the host of inner mentors that have appeared in the dreaming realms.

One day, I recall the guidance coming from Grace:  “Trust the inner voice.”

My response at the time:  “Yes, but the voices within haven’t always been kind or trustworthy.”  She nodded in supreme compassion, still penetrating my being with her gaze.

My uncle Mark is one of the most amazing beings I’ve ever known, and I’m so lucky to have had his influence in my musical and spiritual life.  Recently Mark wrote as his daily affirmation:

Indifference to the voice of spirit is our choice. It is none-the-less a deficit when navigating the ocean of life. Today I will ask for guidance and then listen with all my heart, mind, and soul for the answers. Ask, listen, then leave it and go on with the day. The answers will come in a timely order. Those that can help will appear.

There was a time in my earliest years on the path, the resonant path opened by knowing my Uncle Mark when I was just 12 years of age, when the strongest part of my daily prayers were emphatic prayers for guidance, and then my day was spent like Sherlock Holmes – searching for clues from God in terms of response.

And yet, there were also a few years nearly a decade later, age 17 or so, when my prayer wasn’t as strong, and my head was swirling with confusion which showed up as dire consequences, then finally not trusting myself essentially.

So my response now, to Mark’s advise above is to return to my prayer again – thirsting for – needing the Lord’s guidance and welcoming it with all my being.

And, considering my time with Grace, I resolve to also spend some time considering how to recognize the voice of the true Spirit, the voice of the Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost, the true pulse of Spirit within.

How does one differentiate this essence, from other impulses that too often compete for attention?

Here is what I have come up with so far:

1. Holy Spirit speaks softly – oftentimes injected in between random thoughts.  It is in essence – holy thinking.  The voice of Spirit doesn’t compete with outer compulsions.  It just is, so the volume of listening, the attunement to source, has to be much greater than the chatter.
2. Holy Spirit is just as concerned, if not more so, about the welfare of others in addition to oneself.
3. The impulse of the Holy Ghost almost always involves a sense of risk to the ego, a stretch of whatever one’s notions of self-limitations are at the time.
4. The true voice within never tells the whole story nor jumps to conclusions.  If it’s message is recognized, it nearly is always metaphorical or incomplete in its first transmission – whereby an exertion of contemplation – the extension of outer mental energy is needed to complete the circle.
5. The fulfillment of what has been called by the Holy Ghost almost always takes time to fully fulfill – so much time in my case, that I risk forgetting what my true objective was when setting out to do it.  I don’t know really how to overcome this.  Writing it down doesn’t serve the purpose – which is, action.  The purpose of inner compulsion is God in action on earth.  The best I can come up with is repetitive application of item 4 on this list.  Contemplate it deeper and deeper over and over until the hidden message behind the initial impulse is clear, opening the path to Divine action.

This evening when I was driving home, just before I pulled in – a thought occurred of how nice it would be if the trunk were emptied of the items from 2 days before, as well as a brief forewarning if what life would be like if I continued to leave this undone.  Who would then be forced to pick up my slack?  All of the obstacles to actually getting this done, and remembering to actually get back to doing it before I forget lined up like a row of linebackers in my path.  It took time.  But circling back around and fulfilling this action was what prompted this meditation and the 5 points above.

My thy will, that of my highest self within,  be done.

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

At the time of writing, auspicious winds are blowing for humanity, the children of the stars, the children of Divinity, children of Universal Love.  A friend of mine recently quoted, “they say that bad things all happen at the same time.  Now I know that so do good things.”

Bolstered by the creative energy that is present, many of my goals for change are coming back into view.  And yet I can’t but help continue to reflect on my assertions and observations about people – that most often the solutions to problems are none other than the seeds for the problems of tomorrow.

Is it really enough to have the courage to change the things I can?  There are many problems in my life that I do have the power to change, yet I believe in doing so would ultimately be a disservice to myself and others, especially in trying to rescue people from their burdens.

Understanding breeds empathy.  Yet, truly understanding others shouldn’t necessarily lead to our jumping to deal with the surface level of what they are expressing.

I was observing my 16 month old son getting upset in his stroller.  His frustration gradually built up to the point that he hit his head with a gentle thunk on the side of his carriage.  I asked myself what it was he was really upset about?  Ultimately, I believe he really wanted to be out of the stroller – and so created for himself more problems in being there.

I believe that human habits of behavior are the same:  to unconsciously create “surface” level problems to gnaw at incessantly   Our surface problems, or surface addictions, point to the deeper reality calling for wholeness.  They should only be treated as such, and the temptation to mull around solving surface level problems avoided as much as possible.

Deeper and deeper we can layer the depth of acceptance, as one layer of problems is uncovered then another – without actually needed to cull anything to solve them.  I pray for the kind of clarity to know the depths of wholeness until the ultimate causal reality can be reached.

In writing, I resolve to be creative with the beauty that is emerging from me.  I resolve to accept the things in my life that I don’t necessarily like, and in doing so, gain the deeper clarity to know what my true problem really is. Then the solution is readily apparent and effortless or not, it will be done.

Only in knowing, having the clarity and focus upon causal reality, can true evolutionary change really be enacted upon my life patterns.  Anything else is just like a mouse on the wheel, a dog chasing his tail, or any other metaphorical wheel spinning that doesn’t have the power to carry momentum onward toward the cosmic whole, toward true inner wholeness.

This, I believe, is the meaning of the phrase:  “The Peace That Passeth Understanding.”  There is a peace that surpasses understanding.  The prince of peace is within.  Peace is in reach, and no meaningful change can exist without peace.  Peaceful clarity.  Peaceful acceptance.  Peaceful progress towards true fulfillment.  This is my prayer for today.

I extend peace into my world.

Here is the basic question: What do we do when our dreams are larger than our means to achieve them? This is a fundamental life question, a realistic one given the economy, and also a key to child raising.

When I was 8 years old or so, my parents sat us kids around the table to make up a wish list for the holidays. When it was my turn to answer the question of what I wish for, my eyes lit up and I gushed out “A Lamborghini!” An uncomfortable silence ensued, and I suddenly felt a twinge of shame. Perhaps my request was completely unrealistic. Sure enough, the holidays came and went, and I don’t remember any of what was offered in celebration, but it had nothing to do with any Lamborghini.

This shame, a sense of having imposed on my parents with an unrealistic wish has stayed with me in some sense through to adulthood. How could I have not known how unattainable such a thing would be to the average family? However, now having sat with that question for a number of years, I have a different answer.

To an 8 year old, how much can they really know about what a Lamborghini is? Can they drive one? They certainly can’t afford one. At the time, all I knew was that it was a super cool super fast race car. I didn’t even really know what they looked like if you told me to choose one from group of race cars.

It was super cool. It was super fast, and it excited me to think of its power. Cool. Fast. Powerful. That was the energy I needed at the time, and was not provided. Energy and the meaning behind the forms of our wishes are the true gift, and they are not limited by any lack of material resources. If my parents had at the time offered a Lamborghini matchbox car, a Lamborghini shirt, race car pajamas or anything that provided the ENERGY I was looking for, I would have been fulfilled.

So, to my inner child I have offered all kinds of SYMBOLS of what a Lamborghini is. I have dressed that little boy in race car clothes and given him little things to play with that are super fast and super powerful in his eyes, and VOILA! My childhood is completely healed (with a smirk!)

So in my parenting, I resolve to be cognizant of the intangible energy behind the sometimes far flung stories and wishes of the little amazing beings around me. I am determined not to think in such a small minded way – that a child’s dreams are unattainable because I don’t have the money to provide it, because if I can provide a symbol of that wish and give them something to interact with in any way that fulfills the energy behind the wish, I will have done my job.

Now that I am writing, of course it is so clear that this strategy is applicable to the dreams of grown children – adults! Coming into adulthood has a way of squashing the childhood dreams out of the mind and heart. Failures, reality checks – or otherwise making decisions out of necessity rather than high thinking – take the enthusiasm away from fanciful imagination. But does it really have to?

I will spend some time thinking about my childhood dreams, and my adulthood dreams – all of the things I truly and deeply wish for in life. Then, I will find something to symbolize its fulfillment on a scale that is truly attainable and serve as a reminder of the reasons why I had dreamed such a wonderful thing. I will keep that reminder nearby and treasure it, that one day its energy will attract more of the right timings, people, places and opportunities to truly be real and truly manifest into reality, despite myself.