I dreamt that I was climbing in the mountains behind my home with my 3 year old son. I make a point to look over the edges of all the cliffs before he came close and to warn him of what was just ahead, guiding him in the immediate sense of the trip and in the long term sense of paying attention to such details.

We came to a large stream bed, with shallow rock waterfalls, diving areas, and a swimming hole off to the side. I was swimming there alone at this point, and was just barely aware of the presence of other people enjoying the waters, when I noticed the most striking presence of all: a black bull approaching the small waterfall break about 25 yards in front of us to dip his head for some water. The water came up only to the ankles of his staunch and agile ebony legs, and his horns were copperish brown fading to white at the base, 4 feet wide point to point, and angled diagonally up and forward so there was no mistake of what they were capable of.

The black bull noticed the commotion that his presence caused and it stirred him to anger, a stirring anger that once turned on never backs down until it is dead or its object of opposition is eliminated. He wailed and sauntered forward off the small 1 yard ledge of the little streambed waterfall, the water now coming up to his shiny black knees, and of course, everyone splits in a dozen different directions, everyone but me.

I picture the bull laughing inside at the reaction to his presence and approaching me slowly now, and curiously, wondering why this little one didn’t run. The image of myself in the water was the 7 year old version of myself (the age that I was molested and nearly drowned: I survived because of the water training that I had and the intervention of a passerby who threatened to call the police).

Myself as this little boy, I was comfortable in the water, like a fish, and I somehow dared the bull to come into my domain in the deeper swimming area, although I was scared as hell. The bull walked up to where my eyes barely came above the surface and lowered his wet nose down close enough to the point that I could feel the blowing of his hot breath pushing me backward in the water slightly. I felt the cool of his nose actually touch my head and I squinted my eyes closed in a recoil that woke me up out of sleep.