I am blessed as I reflect back on the long line of amazing mentors that have appeared in my life.  Mr. Kamiya, My neighbor Gail, My football coach Mike.  Mr. Hailu. Melody.  Uncle Mark.  Mr. Mackay. Joda Doshi.  Ingrid.  Grace.  Shocho Viviano. Soma.  Thomas.  David.  I extend my heartfelt gratitude to you all, as well as to the host of inner mentors that have appeared in the dreaming realms.

One day, I recall the guidance coming from Grace:  “Trust the inner voice.”

My response at the time:  “Yes, but the voices within haven’t always been kind or trustworthy.”  She nodded in supreme compassion, still penetrating my being with her gaze.

My uncle Mark is one of the most amazing beings I’ve ever known, and I’m so lucky to have had his influence in my musical and spiritual life.  Recently Mark wrote as his daily affirmation:

Indifference to the voice of spirit is our choice. It is none-the-less a deficit when navigating the ocean of life. Today I will ask for guidance and then listen with all my heart, mind, and soul for the answers. Ask, listen, then leave it and go on with the day. The answers will come in a timely order. Those that can help will appear.

There was a time in my earliest years on the path, the resonant path opened by knowing my Uncle Mark when I was just 12 years of age, when the strongest part of my daily prayers were emphatic prayers for guidance, and then my day was spent like Sherlock Holmes – searching for clues from God in terms of response.

And yet, there were also a few years nearly a decade later, age 17 or so, when my prayer wasn’t as strong, and my head was swirling with confusion which showed up as dire consequences, then finally not trusting myself essentially.

So my response now, to Mark’s advise above is to return to my prayer again – thirsting for – needing the Lord’s guidance and welcoming it with all my being.

And, considering my time with Grace, I resolve to also spend some time considering how to recognize the voice of the true Spirit, the voice of the Holy Spirit, Holy Ghost, the true pulse of Spirit within.

How does one differentiate this essence, from other impulses that too often compete for attention?

Here is what I have come up with so far:

1. Holy Spirit speaks softly – oftentimes injected in between random thoughts.  It is in essence – holy thinking.  The voice of Spirit doesn’t compete with outer compulsions.  It just is, so the volume of listening, the attunement to source, has to be much greater than the chatter.
2. Holy Spirit is just as concerned, if not more so, about the welfare of others in addition to oneself.
3. The impulse of the Holy Ghost almost always involves a sense of risk to the ego, a stretch of whatever one’s notions of self-limitations are at the time.
4. The true voice within never tells the whole story nor jumps to conclusions.  If it’s message is recognized, it nearly is always metaphorical or incomplete in its first transmission – whereby an exertion of contemplation – the extension of outer mental energy is needed to complete the circle.
5. The fulfillment of what has been called by the Holy Ghost almost always takes time to fully fulfill – so much time in my case, that I risk forgetting what my true objective was when setting out to do it.  I don’t know really how to overcome this.  Writing it down doesn’t serve the purpose – which is, action.  The purpose of inner compulsion is God in action on earth.  The best I can come up with is repetitive application of item 4 on this list.  Contemplate it deeper and deeper over and over until the hidden message behind the initial impulse is clear, opening the path to Divine action.

This evening when I was driving home, just before I pulled in – a thought occurred of how nice it would be if the trunk were emptied of the items from 2 days before, as well as a brief forewarning if what life would be like if I continued to leave this undone.  Who would then be forced to pick up my slack?  All of the obstacles to actually getting this done, and remembering to actually get back to doing it before I forget lined up like a row of linebackers in my path.  It took time.  But circling back around and fulfilling this action was what prompted this meditation and the 5 points above.

My thy will, that of my highest self within,  be done.