In the days of the Master, there was a time when the disciples came to him, saying,
“Who then is the greatest of heaven?”
“And he called to him a little child, and set the child in the midst of his disciples, and said, Verily I say unto you, except ye turn and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.
“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven; and whoso shall receive such a little child in my name receiveth me.” (Matthew 18:1–5, American Standard Version)
Who is that little child? Who is the child? I am. The child is obviously a symbol. Jesus himself was not saying, “I am a child.” It’s a symbol for something. And when we turn and become as little children, we don’t shrink. It’s a symbol for something. What is it? There’s something truly open in this moment to the spirit of pure being.
I have memories from my childhood. When I was in first grade I was very enthusiastic about learning how to read, and I got to the point where I was reading to my class. Then something changed in my mind. I remember a day when the whole way that I would think changed, and suddenly, from whatever the way my mind worked before, my mind would start to think in words after I learned how to read. Every time I had a thought, the words would just kind of scroll across my forehead like a banner. And over time, as we grow, all of these words, all of these learnings that inflate and bind our minds grow like vines, sucking the life out of something that’s truly present.
The more inflated and the more bound our minds become, it’s like we’re living in a dream, always—we’re mad about something, or adamant about something. We’re afraid to lose something of ourselves, something of our identity. But it doesn’t exist, it’s not real. It’s a dream. When does the dream end? When? When will the children of the Father wake up? The little child is the awakened son.
There’s been a huge transformation in the being that’s standing before you. I’m awake. And the process of awakening came in the form of a dream that I wrote down, entitled “Three Tests to Spiritual Wholeness,” and I also call it “The Dream To End All Dreams.” If you want to read all those details, you’re welcome to, but I’ll just share with you very simply what the three tests were. I live them, in this moment.
The three tests were, first, destruction of form, destruction of the ego. The second test was complete honesty: I was asked, “What did you do to cause the problem?” And I was able to be fully honest, because I had lost the forms that I was holding on to—completely melted away. I was able to say, “This is what I had done that caused the problem.” As I passed that test, the advice that was given to me was, “Such honesty is accountability to heaven, not man.”
It doesn’t matter if people judge you for being completely honest and completely true. It does not matter if people judge you for being completely self-effacing about what you have done. People who judge would find a reason to judge you later anyway. Such honesty is accountability to heaven, not man.
The third test was in a place where there was a man there that I regarded as the Father. He didn’t see me, he didn’t acknowledge me. And that test was simply to wait—to be in a place where the Father could see me, but not demand his acknowledgment. Just wait.
To let myself be destroyed, to let myself be completely honest, and to let myself be patient in the presence of the Father—these were the three tests for spiritual wholeness.
That was on the third of August, and since then, as all my dreams do, every symbol has manifested in my life, culminating last week with an explosion of energy in my being. The amount of energy in my spine, the amount of energy that is moving through me, completely exploded into this presence. And it was as though this seed, this golden seed in my navel opened up, and a golden man rose from a fetal position in my navel, and didn’t stop at my body, it just kept going and going and going. My true self is here. It took a lot of time to get used to using my body again, because it’s truly me that’s here now. The awakened son is here.
My priorities are very different now. One of the things that’s so different about me is that I went around thinking that I had completely lost my mind. But literally, it’s like there’s no difference between what’s sincere and true to me and what comes out of my mouth and what comes out of my words and what comes out of my deeds. The inner has completely manifested in form in my outer world. There’s no mind, there’s no silent place that I can hold something that’s true of myself and withhold it from the world. It’s impossible now—it’s impossible. I’ve lost the ability to withhold the truth.
And as for my body… I don’t have time to say everything I’d like to say, but I will say this: This moment is the Garden of Eden. Everything around you is the kingdom. To the degree that you could be open and see the kingdom in this moment, be in the garden in this moment. The reason the mind judges things as good or bad or creates drama, or anything else that the mind is doing, is because it is starving for energy. It’s starving—it’s like a man clutching, eternally dying for water in the desert. The mind is starving for energy. And when the awakened son comes, that energy is present and the mind can be at peace.
Know this: My mind is like a calculator. I use it when I need it, I take it out of my pocket, and I put it back in my pocket when I’m done with it. Because I am awake, I am here.
I’d like to finish with the “Prayer of Being,” written by Martin Exeter. And as I say them, these are my words too, because I live them, and they are true for me.
I am in heaven. The revelation of myself is holy.
My kingdom comes because I am here. My will is done in earth because my will is done in heaven.
I give the bread of life in each moment of my living on earth.
I forgive, and that forgiveness is received by those who share the spirit of forgiveness.
I lead no one into tribulation, but deliver all evil into the creative cycle.
For mine is the kingdom, present on earth, because I am present on earth. Mine is the creative power of the Word. And mine is the glory which results, shining round about, to be reflected by the world which I create.
So I end with a note of patience. This new cycle, every first step on a new cycle, starts with the spirit of patience. I am patient with the Father, that he will acknowledge and use my voice as he sees fit, not me. And I am patient with his children. I don’t demand recognition, I don’t demand respect from anyone. But if you are awake, whenever it’s right for you, come look me in the eyes and tell me, “I am awake. Let us serve the Father, for the kingdom of heaven, together.”